Sunday, June 4, 2017

Disappointing result but still hope left


Today was quite a let down after the excitement of yesterday. The clinic phoned and told me that out of the five eggs collected, only two of them fertilized. So now because there are so few embryos we'll be doing a three day rather than five day transfer as it's just too risky to wait the extra days. We are getting "assisted hatching" done this time though to hopefully increase our odds a little.

I know I should be grateful that we have two embryos, and I am absolutely, it was just a let down. I feel a bit stupid for the fact I let myself get so excited and carried away (as usual). I thought this cycle was turning out much better than the previous ones but it's just the same. We are still only ending up with two embryos after going through everything. During the previous IVF (third round) we transferred two great quality ones, but it failed nonetheless. These will be the sixth and seventh embryos we have created altogether.

I had a bit of a cry about it. I decided it's better to let the negatively out now and then from transfer day onwards I'll try to get the positivity back! I also decided I owe it to our two potential children growing in a petri dish right now to be hopeful and fight for them! I'm excited for the transfer anyway. That's always the highlight of the IVF process for me! Hubby is coming too.


We ended up having to entertain friends this afternoon which wasn't ideal timing wise! It was a colleague of my husband and his wife plus their seven month old baby. We haven't shared our infertility struggles with them as the guy is quite a gossip and hubby wouldn't want him spreading stories about us. They are nice but literally obsessed with their offspring! I'd be trying to tell them about our Australia trip for instance and then one of them would interrupt to point out that the baby had made a "cute" noise or slapped the table or whatever. A bit rude really. They also insisted on showing me several videos of the kid. I hope if this works out for us then we wouldn't be parents like that who don't have anything else in their lives to talk about!

14 comments:

  1. Oh I can't stand those people that show you endless videos or pics of their family/friends/children etc. It's just NOT my thing at all and really don't care about other people media unless i'm in them :)

    Hang in there my friend, each embryo has a story, an individual journey. Hugs.

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    1. Yea a lot of people don't seem to realise that being shown hundreds of pictures just isn't that interesting! Especially of the same thing! Thanks, I've been trying to keep in mind that each embryo and cycle is different! :)

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  2. Hang in there you are not alone. I just had my 6th miscarriage at 10 weeks and I feel totally deviated. It seems like everyone I know if either pregnant or has a new baby. I will survive and I won't give up hope. But it is so hard. Good luck, you have a chance, which means you have hope.

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    1. oh Sara, I'm really sorry to hear that. That must be just awful. I've often thought of you and wondered how things were going. It's so hard when there are pregnant bellies and new babies everywhere you look, I know that too well. Thanks for all your support and I really hope that things will get better for you soon.

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  3. it only takes one! that was my mantra. we only had 2 embryos and did 3 day transfers each time. think positive! sticky baby dust!!!!

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    1. Yea that sounds like me, it nearly always has ended up being just 2 embryos and day 3 transfers. Hopefully at least one of them is a fighter this time! Thanks!x

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  4. Please, please work. I'm praying so hard those two embabies implant. You'd make a great mother.

    Every time I also end up getting carried away with hope. I'm an optimist, I can't help it.

    I want this to be the time your hopes aren't crushed.

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    1. yea it sounds like we are the same way with all the hope and optimism! Each time I have been so sure it would work and then it's awful if it fails. But this is a fresh chance. Thanks so much for your support, that's so sweet x

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  5. I'm sorry the retrieval didn't go as well as you had hoped, but I'm glad you're looking forward to the transfer! That sucks about the rude couple, some people really are just clueless :p I'm sure you won't be like that after all you've been through! Good luck!

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    1. Yeah the couple don't know what we are going through so I try to remind myself they weren't being insensitive. Thanks for your support! :)

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  6. I will say this for infertility, it has granted me levels of compassion I never had before. I hope that you'll get to employ your newfound post-parental compassion very soon. Safe journey to your little ones.

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    1. Oh yea I am definitely a lot more aware of what other people could be going through and hopefully more sensitive as a result. That's one benefit of this all I guess! Thanks for the well wishes. Going to check out your blog, love the title ;)

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  7. I'm so sorry, Dubliner. It must have been hard to entertain these guests on that exact day. Yet it's only wise to be careful with whom you share your journey.

    I have everything crossed for you, too <3!

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    1. Yes those were not the ideal guests to have on a day like that. But our story is not something we feel comfortable sharing with everyone as you say. Thanks for the support!

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