Would you believe I'm still not finished reading Michelle Obama's book, Becoming? I first mentioned it back in October. The thing is I have been really enjoying it and I am almost at the end of it by now, it's just been so hard to find time to sit down and read without interruptions. Anyway I need to finish it soon as my book club have already started reading The Testaments by Margaret Atwood.
There's a section in the book where Michelle talks about the now famous date with Obama where they flew to New York for dinner and a show which caused some controversy among their opponents. Anyway she writes about how much they enjoy each other's company and conversations and constantly erupt into laughter when together. The day I read that passage hubby and I had just been squabbling about some household thing as usual. I presume other couples also have countless silly arguments about things around the house - who hasn't put their laundry away? why haven't these dirty plates been put into the dishwasher? I could easily go on but you get the idea.
There are many times when hubby tells long stories about work while I'm barely paying attention. I know he often doesn't listen to me a lot of the time either since I end up having to repeat myself. This just felt like a stark comparison when I imagined the Obamas sitting there during their dinner dates finding each other totally fascinating! They seem to have a strong happy marriage which I admire.
Recently when hubby and I did finally get a moment to ourselves we ended up talking about how parenting a young child means our minds always seem to be distracted and elsewhere a lot of the time! It's rare to have opportunities to give something our sole focus (apart from when we are in work). So I think (and hope) that it's pretty normal that these days we don't have a perfect marriage like the Obamas but hopefully one day again in the future we will!
Ah, I've always admired the Obamas' relationship. They seem to be truly in love, and just smitten with each other after all the years they've been together. I haven't read Becoming yet, but it's inching its way up on my to-read list. I think every couple has ups and downs, times of disconnect and testiness and times where you entertain each other thoroughly, in cycles. No one, even the Obamas, can be perfectly connected and happy all the time! I would imagine having a small child to focus on would make it hard to have carefree moments where you jet to New York (I bet when Malia and Sasha were young they didn't do that either!). :)
ReplyDeleteIt's a good read, so interesting hearing about what life is really like in the White House and also their lives up until that point. Yeah they seem so smitten and in love despite being together so long, but you're right all couples go through periods of disconnect.. She did mention at one stage in the book that it drives her mad when Obama leaves his socks on the floor!
DeleteI've always loved the Obamas' marriage. I'm still reading the book too. Ironically I started in October as well.
ReplyDeleteHa that's funny you started the book at the same time! Yeah I love seeing pictures of them together - they seem to have such a great relationship #coupleGoals
DeleteI do think they seem genuinely in love, and like they have each other's backs and really know how to keep things exciting.
ReplyDeleteMy husband's best friend lives with his family in Hyde Park, where the Obamas used to live. His kids went to the same school as the Obama girls before they moved to DC. My husband's best friend's daughter (mouthful!) has a friend who is best friends with one of the Obama girls. Our friends were staying with us for New Year's and the daughter was saying how her friend was on vacation with the Obamas. And they were texting and she was at our house! So I said, "So tell me - they really are just nice, normal humans, right?" She said, "Yes, they really are."
Wow that's cool! Michelle writes in the book about how she would invite the mothers over for lunch at the White House before the kid's would go on a play date together. It was really important to her that the girls would be able to do normal kid stuff as much as possible!
DeleteThe Obama’s are clearly extraordinary people who live extraordinary lives, they probably have a lot more to talk about because they don’t have to worry about who didn’t do the dishes, instead it’s meeting the queen or travelling to Africa on an average day.
ReplyDeleteI understand exactly what you mean though, I feel like I don’t have much to say and I miss the old me. We are in the thick of it right now with toddlers, we’ll come out if it one day I hope!
Oh yeah that's true, I didn't think of that. Without all the silly arguments about the household it would definitely free you up to talk about other stuff- and their lives are definitely interesting!
DeleteYeah I often find myself wanting to tell funny stories about my daughter but holding back as I realise it's probably not so interesting to the person I'm talking to.
My marriage started out with four years of fertility struggles followed by newborn craziness then a relatively quick surprise pregnancy... and soon we'll have two under two! We've definitely had our ups and downs. I think of these early years as an investment -- I know that, as sweet as it is sometimes, it's going to be rough, it's going to be all-consuming, but it will be so much easier and more fun (I hope) when the kids are a bit older and we're having interesting conversations with them and traveling with them and so on. Right now it's just all hands on deck to keep the ship upright and connect with our kids as much as we can while providing them with what opportunities we can for learning and growth. It's rewarding in its own way, but it is exhausting! At least I can plan soccer again in the fall -- my ultimate self-care. I think that will help. But yeah. These years are a lot, no doubt about it.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing your thoughts! Yeah it definitely feels like all hands on deck at the moment and things can be so busy most of the time that our relationship seems changed. But you're right that it's pretty normal when you have young kids and I can imagine things settling in a few years. Of course I also want to appreciate this time while Mini is so young too. Having a bit of time for yourself definitely helps. I have a lot more patience once I've had at least some down time during the week to recharge somewhat
DeleteI can remember times before fertility issues and lack of sleep and small ones that we used to be more like the Obamas on that score - though we certainly never had the high powered jobs or meeting famous people! But yes, running a household and such definitely takes up the bulk of our conversations these days.
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