Life on hold

Well that escalated quickly.. I just wanted to give a quick update on the situation in Germany at the moment. Since my last Covid-19 post, things changed drastically. Schools and daycare have been closed in Baden-Württemberg since March 17th and employees are advised to work from home where possible. Social isolation has been ramped up. The amount of cases of the virus went from around 20 to over 20,000 in just three weeks!

Now there is an almost complete lockdown. We are only allowed to leave the house in groups of less than three (apart from family members or people in the same house). You have to keep a minimum of six feet distance from everyone else. Walks or cycles outside for exercise are permitted but otherwise you are only meant only to go out if you really have to - to buy supplies for instance. Since Friday two weeks ago I have only left the house for walks around the neighbourhood. I am doing my part to "flatten the curve" as much as possible.

It's been hard. I'm a social person and miss meeting up with friends and I tend to get cabin fever when stuck at home for a long time. Every event we had planned this year has been cancelled or postponed. I get so upset reading about the amount of people who have lost their lives already to this deadly virus. Naturally, I am also particularly anxious about my own family and friends here and abroad. Being an expat in Germany makes this harder as I know that if something were to happen to anyone back in Ireland, due to the current travel restrictions, I wouldn't be able to fly over there which makes me feel extra helpless.

So far Germany has a lower death rate than other countries, possibly due to their very good standard of health care, and I am hopeful that in a few weeks after everyone has been isolating themselves, that the situation could look a little less grim. I find it particularly hard without an end in sight to the current lockdown. However, we are well and safe right now and that is something to of course be grateful for! It feels like life is on hold in many ways but we are still trying to make nice memories with out daughter. I've been able to do skype and whatsapp video calls to keep in touch with people and there is a virtual get together planned among some of my friends here this weekend.

I hope you are keeping safe and well wherever you are in the world!

Coronavirus - concern levels rising

Initially when the Coronavirus begun in China I felt awful for the people affected but wasn't that worried about it affecting us. As time went on I saw articles saying that there is no need to panic because it's just like the flu versus articles saying people should be freaking out more! Hubby had been following the news religiously and keeping me constantly updated.

Now the Coronavisus has reached Baden-Württemberg the state where I live and people here are starting to panic. Disinfectant products are sold out from many of the local pharmacies and the stock market has plummeted. Schools, daycare and even some businesses may end up being closed. We are being encouraged to work from home when we can. I'm not so much worried for myself but hubby has lots of elderly relatives and our daughter is only two so something like this could be hard on her immune system.

It seems like Germany is taking it seriously though and mainly has a handle on things but time will tell how much it will spread. We have already started to change our behaviour- avoiding crowded places and washing our hands more often. How has it affected you?

Memory snapshot

I wish I had a better memory. As I get older it seems to only be getting worse. One thing I try to do is when I find myself experiencing a particularly nice moment, is to just pause and remind myself to be more present. I'll focus on what's happening, the details around me, how I'm feeling. Then I attempt to capture it all into my memory, just like taking a mental snapshot. 

Recently hubby and I went for a cycle using the new bike trailer attached with Mini inside. It was a particularly pleasant autumn evening; the leaves already a mixture of vibrant shades, the sky a beautiful shade of blue, and the air was slightly crisp but not yet cold. As we cycled along through a pretty wooded area I found myself feeling happy and I tried to capture the moment with my mind. 

I felt grateful that all three of us are in good health right now because you really can't take your health for granted. This time last year I was in hospital recovering from major surgery and the thought of being well enough to go for a cycle would have felt so distant. I was also grateful that hubby and Mini were healthy too. And something about cycling through the woods that day just made me feel free and carefree for a few lovely moments.

Of course in typical Murphy's law fashion we ended up getting a puncture on one of the bike trailer wheels and haven't been able to use it since until we get around to fixing it! Worse than that however, Mini picked up pseudo-croup at daycare a few days later and has been pretty miserable with it since, the poor little thing. 

How has your autumn been so far? 

Health update

There's been a reason for my radio silence lately. It has been an eventual few weeks. I had to get surgery and I was in hospital for over a week!

Back during my pregnancy you might remember I wrote about a health scare when I was having strong cramps on my right hand side and my gyno, worried it could be my appendix, refered me to a specialist. The pain ended up going away by itself though it happened a second time during the pregnancy and afterwards so I ended up going back and forth to the doctor several times.

Two weeks ago the cramps returned again even worse and the doctor sent me directly to the hospital. I'm not going to share all the medical details right now on the blog but I ended up needing major abdominal surgery due to a suspected abscess from an inflamed appendix. Afterwards they kept me several days in intensive care for monitoring. Thankfully my recovery went well and I was able to leave the hospital after I had been there over a week and continue my recovery at home.

As you can imagine it was a scary time! My mother and brother in law came over to look after Mini when my husband and I went to the hospital. I couldn't help feeling a little sad for a moment that our first "date" since she was born was to the emergency ward! I was seen by several doctors and given ultrasounds and even a CAT scan. The whole thing took ages. We ended up being apart from Mini for over six hours which I found really hard.

After all the tests I thought I would be allowed to finally go home and return the next day but I was advised to stay since there was the risk my condition might worsen overnight. At that stage I didn't know what to do! I explained that my baby is only 7 months and exclusively breastfed. We had never slept apart. One of the doctors very kindly was able to organize a private room for me to stay in and said I could get cot so my daughter could stay with me which was a big relief!

Mini ended up staying with me at the hospital for two nights which was lovely. Part of the night she slept in the cot which I had put beside my bed and the early morning hours when I was too anxious to sleep anyway she lay cuddled beside me. However before the surgery and the subsequent nights she stayed at home with my husband. My mother in law was with with them to help out. I remember being really worried about how Mini would get on without me but she managed well. My husband was able to rock her back to sleep whenever she woke up. In the hospital I was given access to a breast pump and I made sure I was only given medications that would be ok for the milk. My husband visited me each day with Mini and I would feed and cuddle her and give him some expressed milk to bring home. Seeing them was the highlight of my day!

Emotionally and physically it was a hard time, I'm not going to lie. When I found out I would need the surgery (this is the third I've had in my life), I was strong at first but after the doctor left and a nurse brought me the surgical gown, I just lost it and burst into tears... I didn't feel brave at all in that moment. The thing was though, I knew that I had no choice and I would just have to face it. Later that evening I felt like I had reached a phase of acceptance. I was still really anxious beforehand but I got through it and the surgery was deemed a success thankfully!

Having to deal with everything in my non native language also made things more difficult. My German is very good but not my medical German and there were times when I just couldn't follow everything the doctors were saying! I also felt homesick for my family in Ireland. The first few days of the recovery in the ICU were hard going but I tried to focus on my progress. By the fourth day I was able to shower and wash my hair which felt so great and I celebrated the little victories! Initially I had zero appetite and I had also lost loads of weight. Luckily over time my appetite came back and I was able to start eating and getting stronger. My family and friends were sending me messages on whatsapp and it also really helped getting their support. Each day I focussed on getting better and I particularly wanted to get well as quickly as possible so I could get home to Mini again.

This whole incident has reminded my husband and I what a little miracle she is. I'm so grateful I didn't need to have the surgery while I was pregnant with her as that would have been even scarier and would have put her at risk! I am making a good recovery now, feeling stronger each day and these are all things to be grateful for.