Wednesday, February 23, 2022

Pandemic musings

One of the aspects that has bothered me the most about living through a global pandemic is that it often feels like real life is on hold. That we are only passing time. I really hate that feeling because life is actually short but I certainly don't feel like I'm living life to the fullest these days.

Much like the majority of people I don't live to work. I like my job and I'm happy there for the most part but I am not typically jumping out of bed Monday mornings in anticipation of logging into my computer! Pre 2020 on Mondays I would usually be looking forward to events such as meeting up with a good friend for mid week dinner or perhaps an upcoming holiday, or maybe a play date outing to the ice cream cafe after daycare pickup. During the pandemic our work lives have been expected to carry on as before - we are meant to be just as productive but we have often been made, or at least strongly encouraged to give up almost everything else : travel / visiting family and friends / going to restaurants, cinema, concerts, theatre, sports events, museums etc.. going almost anywhere basically! That's been so hard. 

There have been phases where the Covid numbers were low and restrictions were eased for instance during last Summer which has been wonderful but there have also been several lockdowns and tightening of restrictions. Our daycare have had several mini outbreaks so we've had to keep our daughter home then which is sad for her missing out on seeing her friends and stressful for us juggling our jobs without childcare. I had a big birthday recently but wasn't able to celebrate how I would have liked due to the current restrictions.

The frustrating thing is that I don't know when the pandemic will really end. Why are there so many new variants all the time!? The thought of my daughter or us possibly catching long Covid is scary because there are so many unknown about the long term effets on our bodies. I read something recently about people who have recovered (in paritcular over 65 year olds) then have higher risks of having heart issues or strokes the following year. That's not something I can easily get out of my head especially with a parent in that category. The idea that I might not be able to go to the cinema or theatre in the future without worrying about catching a desease makes me so sad!

This is all hopefully worst case scenario.. I know that restrictions are starting to be removed in many places, such as in Germany from March, but part of me is just anxious that it might be too soon. I have been hoping and praying that it will be safe for life to return to normal and we'll all come out the other side because that is what I wish for more than anything.

We still have lovely moments, despite the pandemic, as a family and I'm trying my best to stay positive and continue to make happy memories with my daughter but to be honest I've felt really low at times and filled with worry. There are so many conflicting articles in the media and it's hard to make sense of it all sometimes. We have tended to be very cautious this whole pandemic for instance avoiding indoor places as much as possible and trying to only meet people outdoors in small groups. However the downside to living this way is we have also been missing out on many experiences.

What's even worse is that on top of a global pandemic, there is now a war in Ukraine! The world is a very scary place right now.


  1. You paint a good picture of what it’s like to live through complicated times! I don’t know anyone who isn’t struggling with the issues you describe, on some level.

    Personally I lean toward the side of take the risk and live your life….but it’s not because I have some sort of superior insight or information about the world. It comes from (some) understanding of myself and my history. I grew up with isolation (personal, familial, cultural….it’s an amazing fragmented mess of a story!). I simply won’t do the same thing to my children or myself (again). Covid is a risk, no doubt about it…..but I see the other risks too, and they are no joke.

    Anyway. Giving attention to the present, to the people immediately around me, doing the next good thing (after sincerely asking what that is) has worked out ok so far. And always looking for patience, humility, nuance, grace. If it’s in short supply, it’s probably what I and lots of other folks need. Anger, anxiety, fear, judgement are never in short supply on the other hand. No need to add more.

    1. That's interesting. I definitely worry about the effects on the children growing up in this pandemic culture which can be so isolated. One of the difficulties for me is that hubby and I often don't agree on which "risks" to take and that's really hard.


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