Thursday, June 25, 2020

Life during a pandemic

It's been almost three months since my last Coronavirus post which goes to show you just rare it is to have a moment to blog these days! During this time I feel like I have experienced the full range of emotions but these are some that stick out...

Anxiety

Initially hubby and I both felt very anxious about the situation - how could you not? We worried about our loved ones getting sick and were upset hearing about all the people worldwide who had lost someone- or even several people to the disease. Being an expat living in Germany I now feel even more isolated. Before the pandemic, Ireland was still "only" a plane ride away if need be, whereas now I have no idea when I will be able to see my family again. I would love if it could be this year at some stage but I am struggling with the decision because I don't want to put myself or others at risk of infection if I were to fly over there.

In the early days of the lockdown, I had a recurring fear about my husband and I both getting sick and having to go to hospital and I worried about what would happen to our daughter in that case. There was also a time when my Dad had potential exposure to Covid-19 and I was convinced that he had it and I felt really worried until he was in the clear. I had heard horrific stories about people dying alone in hospital devoid of any visitors. Thankfully, my loved ones haven't been affected by Covid-19 and Ireland and Germany are managing to flatten the curve. This has helped with my anxiety over time.

Stress

The first month or two was extremely stressful as we were adjusting to life during the lockdown. For me the hardest aspect has been trying to keep up with my job without having any childcare. Initially husband and I were both working from home and we were able to take turns minding our daughter while the other one worked, even if it meant working in the evenings or at the weekend. I found it really difficult at times to focus on my assignments with all the distractions and my productivity was suffering though.

Later on my husband was required to be physically present at work, initially only on certain days but then later full time making things more challenging for me. So my days would generally be spent working and only taking breaks to help mind my daughter or do housework. Barely any time to ever unwind for a moments. Hubby and I had a lot of arguments as is probably to be expected when you have two people who are extra stressed! I remember hearing that in China once lockdown was lifted there was a spike in people considering divorce and I could understand why! We mainly argued over things such as the division of labour and what we could or couldn't do due to Coronavirus. Anyway, thankfully hubby and I are communicating and getting on MUCH better lately.


This graphic is just tongue-in-cheek by the way, I realize there are many people who have less free time during Coronavirus times, not just parents- for instance health care and other essential workers. It's just when I see so many suggestions on social media about how to use all "the extra free time" on projects such as de-cluttering your house or learning foreign languages, I can't help thinking how different that is from my house at the moment. I don't mean it as a complaint, having my daughter at home more is wonderful, it is just also difficult at times when I don't have any opportunities to do things for myself such as exercising. I have decided that I'm not going to feel guilty about the extra screen time my daughter is being exposed to, because sometimes it's the only way I can find a moment to prepare food for us or just sit on the couch and switch off after a long day. I will say, that Mini and I both love the movie Frozen two and Netflix's Boss Baby tv series!

Lonely

There have been times where I've felt lonely and isolated. During the first six weeks, the only people I saw were my husband, daughter and strangers out walking. Thankfully there were some Zoom calls organized with friends which did help but I barely had time to attend them since I was already so busy juggling everything. And then, once people were allowed to meet up outside at a social distance, we still couldn't do that much - we don't have a car and were too nervous to use car sharing, travelling using public transport was advised against and I was having some issues with my bike so I still wasn't able to see most of my friends. Even if it were possible to get together, I found that many people were still too nervous to meet even once it was permitted. That's still how it is actually. I did manage to meet a few friends individually over the past few weeks thankfully but it was been lonely and isolating at times. My daughter is great but you miss adult conversation..

Appreciation

It hasn't all been bad though. Since I haven't had to be anywhere by certain times, we have been able to move at a slower pace. I don't have that crazy rush in the mornings trying to get myself and Mini ready to leave the house early to bring her to daycare and go to the office. I realize now that I used to over plan my life a lot in order to maximize my time but that didn't leave Mini with enough moments to just have "free play". For instance I had signed her up for a gymnastics class but I think that she's too young to get much out of it and she's actually much happier with simple things such as going for a walk or playing with mud in the garden! We also feel very grateful to have each other and that none of our loved ones have gotten sick.

Resourceful

Since we were trying to avoid going to the supermarket as much as possible we would try to only shop once and get enough to last us for 2-3 weeks. This meant having to meal plan and use up items in our cupboards. We have been cooking much more often which has been a nice side effect. My husband even started baking bread.

Initially the playgrounds were closed in Germany. Devoid of play groups or other structured activities, I had to come up with lots of crafts and imaginative play we could do at home. It has been fun teaching Mini to paint and baking with her.

Gratitude

I guess this is similar to the appreciation post. Being able to spend this extra time with Mini has been something that I will always treasure. Her general development has come on in leaps and bounds and I do think the extra individual attention has helped her. Her English language skills have now overtaken her German which has been nice for me to see.

It has been such a strange time in general. At this stage, several months in, many people are getting frustrated with the restrictions. I can completely understand that and of course it is a very difficult situation. However, I also know for the sake of those in the high risk groups who are in danger of becoming seriously ill if they catch the virus, it is a bad idea to let ourselves become too complacent at this stage.


One positive aspect I notice is that without the distractions of a busy social schedule, I get the impression people have been being given an opportunity to examine everything around them and think about what new world we want to build after all this is over. Instead of just "going back to normal", let's create a better society for everyone! The coronavirus has been a tradegy for humans, no doubt about that, but there have been many positive effects on the environment which I hope could lead to real action against Climate Change for one. I also fully support the peaceful protests for racial equality and against police brutality that have been happening around the world and hope we will continue to fight against injustice until all lives are valued.

6 comments:

  1. I hear you on this: "One positive aspect I notice is that without the distractions of a busy social schedule, I get the impression people have been being given an opportunity to examine everything around them and think about what new world we want to build after all this is over. Instead of just "going back to normal", let's create a better society for everyone!" I think that society became very over-scheduled and glorified "busy" and that will hopefully change with the lockdowns and shift in priority. I think though that for many people life didn't slow down, it sped up and became far more fraught with worries about food security and income and keeping the wolf from the door.

    So, graphics and cartoons like the one you have initially gave me a twinge of NOOOOO, NOT THIS COMPARING TO CHILDLESS PEOPLE! But...it's true, for people with young kids at least. I have never in my life been so okay with the fact that we didn't have kids. I can't imagine the insane balancing act it must be... my best friend is a stay at home mom of 3 and they are older (youngest 9) but she goes for walks at 6:30 or 7 am to get some time alone and calls me and is like "I'm giving them way too much screen time but IT'S FOR MY SANITY! I NEED A MINUTE ALONE DAMMIT!" Also my teacher friends with kids, I don't know how they did all the insanity of online learning and then turned around and helped their own kids and balanced everyone's schedules. (Maybe bourbon?)

    I hope things get better, and I hear you about fears of the complacency. I worry about people getting too comfy with alleviated restrictions and then BAM, we're right back where we were. I'm sorry you can't see your family and it is hard to know when you will be able to get to Ireland. That must be really, really hard.

    I hope things get better! I'm so glad to hear from you and see an update.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I feel awful for the people who now have worries about putting food on the table due to job losses during the lockdown on top of everything. I recently saw a John Oliver video about the huge number of people being evicted from their homes in the US which was just heartbreaking.

      Yea, it would be nice if there were positive changes such avoding the glorified need to be "busy" the whole time which you mentioned. I have heard of people wanting to move to the country as they have been enjoying the extra time in nature. Also many companies are realising that it's possible for their employees to work remote so maybe there will be less pressure to be physically present in an office.

      Yeah, I usually hate those graphics and memes comparing people without kids negatively too(especially ones like, "oh you don't know what tired feels like until you have kids") but I hope that in this case it shows the challenge of lockdown with small kids. I have felt like I am going to reach burnout some days when there is never a moment to think.

      There has already been a recent rise in Covid cases in Germany actually so it looks like people have been getting complacent and forgetting how easily the visus can spread.

      Anyway, thanks so much for your thoughtful comment! Hope you are managing well on your side of the world :)

      Delete
  2. That must be so hard, with your family in another country. I do agree, the not having to rush out the door in the morning is nice. I see so many articles about how this is a chance to slow down. Maybe I didn't have that busy of a life to begin with (ha!) but I sort of have the opposite reaction. I LIKED my life prior to this. I liked getting out and having adventures with my girl and seeing friends versus being isolated at home. But that probably has a lot to do with the fact that I don't like playing with her. Is that bad to say? I don't know. Activities like getting to a museum or park or pool are way more fun that one on one time at home. I wish it wasn't that way. This is a weird time.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. For me I think the ideal is having a balance- going places like museums or zoo some days while also have days with nothing scheduled where you can just play at home or go to local playgrounds. I do miss the social side of meeting people at playgroups etc though. I've heard other people say they don't enjoy playing with their kids, I think it's pretty common. As long as you find activites that you can enjoy together, that's the main thing :)

      Delete
  3. Atención

    El objetivo es informar al público en general, mujeres y hombres sanos. Quien esta interesado
    En la venta de su médula ósea (órganos renales) a los riñones, testículos y contacto 100% en serio. correo electrónico; blacksburgclinic@gmail.com
    Porque tenemos muchos
    Los pacientes actualmente necesitan un trasplante de riñón.
    Busque oportunidades para vender el efectivo de sus riñones para ayudar a financiarlo
    Compraremos el tuyo
    Riñón por 1.000.000 euros
    Hígado: 800.000 Euros p
    Ovarios: 350.000 euros
    Cerebro ocho: 550.000 €




    envianos un email

    correo electrónico;
    correo electrónico; blacksburgclinic@gmail.com

    WhatsApp: Pregúntame

    Sinceramente
    Clínica Blacksburg

    Tenga en cuenta que solo los donantes con un certificado de donante válido pueden postularse, para saber más sobre el certificado contáctenos para obtener información..

    ReplyDelete
  4. Atención

    El objetivo es informar al público en general, mujeres y hombres sanos. Quien esta interesado
    En la venta de su médula ósea (órganos renales) a los riñones, testículos y contacto 100% en serio. correo electrónico; blacksburgclinic@gmail.com
    Porque tenemos muchos
    Los pacientes actualmente necesitan un trasplante de riñón.
    Busque oportunidades para vender el efectivo de sus riñones para ayudar a financiarlo
    Compraremos el tuyo
    Riñón por 1.000.000 euros
    Hígado: 800.000 Euros p
    Ovarios: 350.000 euros
    Cerebro ocho: 550.000 €




    envianos un email

    correo electrónico;
    correo electrónico; blacksburgclinic@gmail.com

    WhatsApp: Pregúntame

    Sinceramente
    Clínica Blacksburg

    Tenga en cuenta que solo los donantes con un certificado de donante válido pueden postularse, para saber más sobre el certificado contáctenos para obtener información..

    ReplyDelete

Comments are welcome