Day one

We're off to a good start. The first day's injections went well, probably all the practice from the last round of IVF helped. Altogether it took a good half hour though and I have to do them in the mornings so I'll need to set my alarm clock for thirty minutes earlier each day until I get the hang of it again and get faster.

What helps is I created a motivational playlist on spotify of songs I love to take my mind of the injection process. At night I'll also be listening to a special IVF/IUI meditation series called Circle and Bloom. Each one takes around fifteen minutes and involves taking deep breaths, calming your mind and lots positive thinking and healing. I am hoping it will be good against stress. So far so good.

Here we go again

I had my baseline today which is what the initial IVF appointment is known as. Everything looks good, and I've no cysts so I'm ready to start. Tomorrow I'll begin with the injections. Similar to last time, two each day alternating sides. I have the "decapeptyl" again but this time also "Menogon". The latter will be the trickier one as it involves mixing four vials of powder and two liquid.

I went to the pharmacy after my appointment with Dr. Direct and collected all the boxes. Wow, it's a lot! Also it cost nearly a grand altogether. And that's not even everything, I'll be getting a separate prescription for the progesterone at a later stage. It will all be worth it if it works of course!

I am feeling a mixture of excitement and apprehension. Excitement that I am giving myself the best possible odds at getting pregnant in several weeks time, all goes well, which would be amazing! However apprehension and nervousness mainly about just having to go through the whole emotional rollercoaster again with no guarantee of a happy ending.

Brooklyn the movie and me

They say that Ireland's greatest export is its people.  A recent film which deals with Irish immigration is Oscar nominated "Brooklyn" and it's well worth seeing. The main role is played by the mesmerizing Saoirse Ronan and the story is based on a book of the same name. It tells the tale of an Irish girl, Eilis, growing up in 1950s Ireland who has the opportunity to emigrate to New York. The film shows her making friends and finding a job. On the other hand you also see her suffering from homesickness while she attempts to adjust to life there. She eventually ends up meeting an Italian American guy and falling in love. However circumstances change and she has to abruptly return to Ireland. While there she also meets an a potential love interest, not to mention experiencing pressure from family and friends that she should stay. She is then torn between the two worlds. Should she stay in Ireland, her home or go back to America where her new life awaits.

Watching the film I felt like I could relate to her leaving Ireland and feeling homesickness but also having two parallel lives, and trying to choose which direction to go. Germany for me meant being with my soulmate, job prospects, a good life. Ireland was home though where my family and friends were. Anyway, I eventually chose to stay here and I'm happy that I took a chance and I love it now in Germany even though there were times I was very homesick in the beginning and had to deal with culture shock.

I couldn't help but be reminded by the film that emigrating these days is a lot less scary than it was back in the 1950s. I didn't have a long long arduous journey over, only a short flight. In order to talk to my family I can simply arrange a skype chat. Back then there might only have been one shared phone in the house or a pay phone down the street and calls abroad were very expensive. If I would like to go to Ireland at short notice it is usually relatively affordable and possible, which means I get to fly back around three or four times a year while family and friends can also come over here easily for a visit. I guess my point is, I'm very glad I emigrated to Germany in the 2000s and not in the 1950s!

The journey continues

I was tempted to name this blog post something along the lines of "yet another invasive medical procedure on the long journey to have a baby", but I decided that probably sounded too negative!

A few months ago at our appointment to dissect what went wrong during the first round of IVF (I've heard some women refer to this as the WTF appointment!) my doctor, who I'm nicknaming Dr. Direct (since he tends to state it like it is, and has little time for empathy) started off by saying everything went well during the last attempt and he feels good about round two. Next time I'll try different medication, an antagonoist protocol, which should hopefully help more eggs to develop.

I mentioned that the other doctor, who I'm nicknaming Dr. Gentle (because she is the opposite, has lots of empathy and is more caring), had noticed that my womb lining was on the thin side and whether that could be an issue. Dr. Direct looked over his files on us and he said that yes it was thin; only 6mm whereas they like to see between 8 and 10mm. He then suggested I should consider getting a hysteroscopy which is when a camera is inserted into your uterus to see if everything looks ok. He gave me a referral to another doctor for a consultation.

Whenever we leave appointments with Dr. Direct we always end up feeling overwhelmed with information and choices. Neither hubby nor I liked the idea of me having to get another procedure done under general anesthetic but after doing some research I started to think it would be worth doing, just in case there IS some sort of issue and especially once I realized we could combine it with an endometrial scratch.

That's a relatively new pre IVF extra that has shown very promising results in trials. Basically a tiny scratch on your womb causes the lining to be regenerated with new lining that is extra receptive to embryos the following month. In some studies it even doubled the chances of a successful pregnancy from 29% to 49%. I'm loving those improved odds!

We had to postpone when we could start our next IVF for various timing reasons unfortunately but we should be good to go in a few weeks time. The chances of a 2016 baby are no more but I'm hopeful now for 2017. At least our future child will know they were very much wanted as there is no way anyone would put themselves through the gruelling IVF process if they didn't absolutely have to!

Update: I had the hysteroscopy and scratch and it all went well.