Tuesday, July 25, 2017

Weeks 7-9

Trigger warning: pregnancy discussed


Things have been a little up and down since our first appointment where we saw the heartbeat. Mainly great but I've also had some very anxious moments.

Dr. Peppy, the doctor at our fertility clinic gave me a plan for how to taper off Prednisolone the steroids I've been taking. It was quite a steep drop. I was to go from 15mg a day to 10mg then three days later drop again to 5mg then three days later to 2.5mg and then stop completely. I reduced the first amount from 15mg to 10mg but then I noticed my glands were slightly swollen and I wondered whether it might be a side effect. I also started to get nervous about going off the steroids so soon. I did some research online and most women who take prednisolone to reduce inflammation stay on them till the twelfth week of pregnancy before then gradually tapering off.

So I decided it best to phone the immune doctor to confirm with her. The treatment plan I had been given just said to reduce once the heartbeat was established but it was vague. When I phoned and explained the situation the lady at the practice seemed alarmed and said I shouldn't have reduced already, that it was too soon! She said that she would get the doctor to email me to tell me what to do. Obviously that phone call worried me! I decided to not reduce any further and to stay on 10mg until I heard from the doctor. It took several anxiety filled days before I got an email from the immune clinic. The email emphasised again that it had been too soon to go down without having my natural killer cell level activity rechecked. I was asked whether I wanted another treatment plan sent out to which I immediately replied in the affirmative. I was freaking out after the email though. Really worried that I might have ruined everything. My sister had also told me all about a friend of hers who had had a traumatic missed miscarriage at 10 weeks recently and I couldn't stop thinking about it which probably didn't help my worries.

Hubby thought we should trust dr. Peppy. Another friend I asked thought I should listen to the immune doc who is the expert in the area. Hubby offered to phone the practice to discuss what I should do. I thought that would be a good idea because I didn't want anything to be lost in translation (remember all the communication had been in German)! The email had come across as very harsh! But then things in German can often come across that way to non native speakers. Anyway hubby phoned and discussed my treatment with the doctor - He said that the fact that I reduced the prednisolone wasn't that bad, the issue was that I had gone down too severely, I should have only reduced by 2.5mg amounts not 5mg. The new plan was that I stay on 10mg for another two weeks (till week 10) and then in one week intervals start to go down by 2.5mg.

I am also able to reduce the Granocyte injections from every third day to every four for two weeks then every five days. I felt very relieved after that phone call! That said I was still nervous for the eight week scan. This time the appointment was done at my local gyno. It went great thank God! The baby is actually starting to look like a tiny person now, not just a dot! It was really incredible to see the head and tiny hands. Everything looked perfect. The doctor also gave me a book about pregnancy. Afterwards I got another Intralipid infusion done.

The only bad thing was that my doctor was pretty against flying at all during pregnancy. He said it increases the risk of thrombosis and miscarriage slightly so we would be taking a risk travelling to Dublin for my brother's wedding. Hubby and I did discuss whether we should cancel the trip but I really wanted to go. Also lots of people have flown pregnant and been ok so I felt like it should be fine. That doesn't mean I wasn't anxious though! I avoided the x-ray machines in the airport and even wore a "belly band" which is meant to protect against radiation which I'd ordered online! We had a great time, it was so nice seeing everyone. I even told a few friends and an aunt who had been praying for us and knew about our struggles our "news" in person, which was lovely. Everyone has been extremely happy for us. It still all feels surreal though to be honest! I wonder when it will actually feel more real. Part of me is scared at times to enjoy it too much in case I jinx it, but then the other part wants to enjoy every second!

I noticed a few more "symptoms" kicked in since week eight. If I let myself get too hungry I will start to feel quite nauseous. My sense of smell is sharper. I've also been feeling more tired and I've been more forgetful too! After the Ireland trip, I felt exhausted. Work was quite stressful too for various reasons. Then a few days later for the first time in this pregnancy I had some red spotting. It happened late at night. It reminded me of the awful miscarriage I had after our first IVF and for several seconds I just thought "Oh no, no, no..." However it was only a small amount of bleeding and it stopped soon after thankfully. I found it hard to sleep that night and kept wondering what I should do - go to the hospital, phone my gyno in the morning or do nothing and assume everything is fine. In the end I decided to call my doctor first thing. When I phoned and explained about the small amount of bleeding (but no cramps) I was told to make my way there immediately. That was quite nerve wracking as you can imagine! It was a different doctor this time but she was very nice. She checked my cervix which was closed and the right length, and she couldn't locate the source of the bleeding. She said that some spotting can be normal in the first trimester. Then she did a scan to check on the baby.

At first it just looked like a blob this time! I couldn't make out where the head was. She said the baby was in a funny position with his/her head leaning over the body looking at the feet. We both stared at the screen and there was no sign of a heartbeat at first. It seemed like it took forever while the doctor kept moving the ultrasound wand around. I was thinking something like "Oh God, oh God, please can the baby be ok". After what felt like an eternity but was probably only a minute, she found the heartbeat and everything was fine! She did comment that the baby was "small". I didn't like the sound of that. It took ages to get a measurement because of the awkward position but it looked like baby is about a week behind in growth. The doctor said not to worry though. She also wrote me off sick for several days and told me to rest at home and take magnesium. If I have any more bleeding or get cramps outside their practice opening hours then I should go straight to the hospital.

Luckily everything has been fine since then. I've just been taking it very easy. Watching lots of The Good Wife again! I go back for another scan early next week. Hopefully the baby will have grown more by then. I'm trying not to worry about the growth thing. I read on online forums that it's normal enough in the first trimester for the baby to measure a week ahead or behind. I also think that the baby's awkward position could have messed up the measurement. So that's a run down on the last few weeks! Only a few more to get through until, please God, I'll make it safely into the second trimester.

26 comments:

  1. Wow so many ups and downs. Glad you had a nice trip though :) Prayers everything is just perfect at the next appointment.

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    1. yeah it's been a bit of a rollercoaster, but mainly good I have to add! Thanks so much for the prayers

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  2. Am sick for you. I can only imagine your anxiety. So delighted that all is continuing to go well for you. Don't be afraid to keep us posted, if other readers are like myself they will be anxious to know you are both okay.
    I suppose, despite the anxiety it's wonderful you are pregnant! Take care.

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    1. Thanks Tric. It's been so lovely having all the support from the online community :) Yea I've had a lot of anxiety at times, but it has also been incredibly wonderful overall!

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  3. I know you are anxious but I have a feeling you will be fine. In another couple weeks you'll be out of the first trimester and then things will get a bit easier. The first and last trimesters are always the hardest.

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    1. Thanks Sara. Yeah, in another few weeks I'll hopefully be feeling less anxious! I hope you have been doing alright by the way, thinking of you.

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  4. Phew, a roller coaster. I felt anxious for you just reading this! Sending all the positive thoughts for next week's scan.

    My sister is getting married in December and I'm hoping to be pregnant before then, so I will definitely be flying during pregnancy if it actually works. I'm glad you had a good trip :-)

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    1. Yeah lots of ups and downs! Thanks for the positive thoughts for the scan. Oh, I really hope you will be pregnant by your sister's wedding, that would be amazing!

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    2. Thank you!
      In reply to your comment on my blog: yes, 34 is still young but I was really hoping to have positive news before my birthday, which is why I'm not ready for it to come yet. I'm not mentally prepared for another birthday with no pregnancy yet. I didn't want to respond on my blog since I'm not "out" there and family read it.

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    3. yeah I get that. I remember how each birthday while still not pregnant would be a bit depressing and just make me feel further away from my goal. If you ever want to chat, my email is dublinerindeutschland@gmail.com

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  5. Great to hear about your progress, I've been wondering how you are getting along. Everyone worries in pregnancy even without any real reasons, good that you're mostly feeling positive :)

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    1. Thanks! Yeah I know most women are probably the same, it's not not to worry at times, but I've mainly been feeling positive

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  6. I'm so happy to hear things are progressing along nicely. So this infertility blog hopefully ends happily ever after :)

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    1. Yeah so far things are looking good! I still find it really surreal to imagine we might have a baby here this time next year :)

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  7. Oh jeez... what a ride it's been for you! I'm glad that things are stable right now, but I'm so sorry that you've had scare after scare. I hope it's smooth sailing from here on out. Seems so unfair that infertility is so hard, and then so often pregnancy after infertility is a rollercoaster in of itself. :(

    I have to tell you how much I love German...that the baby development booklet has the longest word ever made me chuckle. I'm glad you got to go to your brother's wedding, too. Thinking of you and hoping for all the best from here on out!

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    1. Thank you! Yeah I get the impression it's going to be an anxious nine months but I'm trying to enjoy this time as much as possible too!
      I love German too! They have a word for everything! The book title means "pregnancy advice giver". The fertility clinics here are called "Kinderwunschzentrum" meaning "Wish for children center"

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  8. Ah I know EXACTLY the feeling, from getting conflicting advice from drs about steroids and also doing it in a different language. I tapered at 11 weeks from 20 to 15 to 7 to 5 to 2 to 1 to zero in 5 day increments (Mr Dr wanted me to go from 5 to zero but I insisted on the more gradual taper as I was worried too). Don't worry about your reduction as you didn't go to zero so you didn't risk adrenal failure. Just make sure you taper gradually especially at the end. Also don't worry about the measuring a week behind. I heard that it a pretty inaccurate early on as one mm can make such a difference. Our bambino was measuring 4 days behind at the same stage and is now measuring a week ahead. Try not to stress you are so close to the safe zone now. I will warn you...when I came off the steroids I had bad morning sickness (which had been masked by the steroids) which then continued until week 21 (Lucky me!). I don't think it was caused by the steroids, just me being unlucky (I also get car sick easily normally). On the plus side I know sleep much better off the steroids. Anyway sorry for long post. So excited for you! XXX

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    1. Thanks for sharing your story! The steroids issue was so stressful when I was being told different things from each doctor and all in my non native language too. But it's ok now, I'm only reducing very gradually. Sorry to hear you had morning sickness till week 21! That's so long! I've already had some since week 9 actually despite being on 10mg steroids still. It's somewhat manageable if I keep snacking all day, but I've had some unpleasant moments. I can also get car and sea sick so I'm not surprised that I'm also prone to nausea unfortunately! I had another scan again and the doctor told me not to worry about the baby measuring a little small, he said they often have growth spurts. Hope you're doing well too, excited for us both :) x

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  9. Hey, sorry to hear you had some conflicting instructions and stress. Pregnancy is tough because we desperately want to do everything 100% right! There is also so much uncertainty especially in the first trimester. All you can do is take care of yourself and celebrate the good news. I hope everything continues to go well.

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    1. Yeah exactly, we just want to do everything right and it can be a worrying time! Thanks for the well wishes. Congrats on your good news too by the way :)

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  10. Experience and enjoy the ride on your pregnancy journey :*

    Wishing all good for you.

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  11. Reading your post gave me anxiety! I can't imagine how you felt. I am happy that everything is going well and that you had a lovely trip. I will keep you in my thoughts.

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    1. I know, there were a lot of ups and downs! We had a really nice trip. Thanks for keeping me in your thoughts :)

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  12. Everything you're feeling is 100% normal for us infertile folks! I don't think I truly allowed myself to embrace and enjoy my pregnancy until I was past Week 30. Every little thing that happens makes you worry. Boobs don't hurt for a day? WORRY! Not feeling any symptoms? WORRY! Only peed once during the night? WORRY! You are not alone in this craziness.

    As for the bleeding, that seems to happen to quite a few people. The first time we had sex in the 1st trimester, I bled. It made me so anxious that I made a "no sex" rule until we were in the 2nd trimester and had talked to the doctor. In talking with other pregnant women, I found that several of them also experience spotting during the 1st trimester.
    I'm so thankful that everything was okay after your scare. It really is the worst feeling.

    As for baby measuring small... don't put too much stock into those measurements. Merbaby measured small the entire pregnancy. Even at 42 weeks, they told me he was the size of a 38-week baby. The midwife constantly reminded me that the measurements were always just predictions and could be off by a pound or two (which is such a big difference)!

    I'm so glad you were able to fly and visit with loved ones. It must have been so much fun to tell people your news in person. I really hope things continue to go well for you. You're doing such a great job dealing with all the ups and downs.

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    1. Yeah I've noticed a lot of ups and downs for other women going through pregnancy after infertility! Seems to be part of the bargain. That's it exactly, some days I don't feel nauseas or whatever and I start to panic maybe it's a bad sign. Rational me has to keep reminding myself not to worry.
      Interesting about the bleeding, I know one of my friends had a scary threatened miscarriage in first trimester but luckily all was fine in the end and she has a healthy son!
      That's reassuring to hear what you said about the measurements. Yeah it was lovely getting to tell friends in person. Everyone has been so happy for us which is really nice. Thanks for you comment :)

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