Thursday, December 15, 2016

Eating for three

Yesterday I had the transfer. The GerMann was able to come with me this time which was nice and hopefully brings us some extra luck! On the way to the clinic I was feeling anxious. If two of my eggs didn't even fertilize maybe it was a bad batch altogether? Or maybe one of the embryos might have arrested and stopped growing. Once we got to the clinic the nurse at the reception remembered who I was and immediately told me that our two embryos were doing great. That was a relief and great to hear!

I listed to the Zita West relaxation meditation tape beforehand to get into the right frame of mind. The transfer itself went absolutely fine. The doctor said the two embryos are schön (beautiful) and four cell. I've since googled it and at 48 hours after egg retrieval you want the embryos to be 2-4 cells so 4 is great!

It was a lovely day. Hubby was very sweet to me and it was nice to feel hopeful. I mainly took it easy. The nurse had advised not to sit too much, so I lay down watching tv (Call the Midwife & New girl), baked some muffins and did a few things around the house. She had also advised me to eat lots of protein so I made some scrambled eggs and avocado for lunch.

A side effect from steroids can be weight gain and apparently increased appetite is the reason. I've already noticed I've been feeling extra hungry! I had a second breakfast after I came home from the transfer. I figure I'm not going to stress about gaining a few kilos. It doesn't matter in the scheme of things at all. When hubby and I were discussing what we'd have for dinner yesterday he remarked that I'm "eating for two..no wait, for three now"! It was a cute moment.

I had my third intralipid infusion today and that went fine. It took almost two hours and was mainly just boring! The GerMann says I get bored easily though. I guess that can be true as I do find it hard to sit still for a long time. At the end of the Intralipid infusion it occurred to me that I'll only be getting the next one done if I'm pregnant in two weeks time. I so wish I could see the future! Tomorrow I'm going to my GP before work to get blood taken to check my thyroid levels have gone down. A TSH level below 2 is better for pregnancy according to the immune doctor.

I've been worrying and feeling anxious a lot lately. And then I worry that all this anxiety could be bad for the embryos so I try to stop myself! Before we started this third round of IVF I had been thinking that if it doesn't work there is always a plan B of going to another clinic for a second opinion and maybe trying the natural protocol. However lately I've just been thinking that I can't bear the thought of going through this all again. And would there even be any point? I'm not exactly an ideal candidate for IVF being a poor responder to the hormones. I would definitely need to take several months off from doctor's appointments and treatments if this fails before I could even contemplate next steps but then the thing with infertility is that time generally isn't on your side. The GerMann is ready to stop with treatments whenever I am. He didn't even want to do IVF in the first place. My desire for a baby has always been stronger.

I'm happy that the next two weeks I'll have quite a few distractions between working, visiting my husband's family and then Christmas in Dublin. The doctor gave me a note for the airport to say that I require certain medications so that I should hopefully not have any issues bringing them in my carry on luggage. I've worked out I'll only have to give myself two injections while I'm staying with my family which shouldn't be too tricky. Other than that I'll just need to remember the progesterone three times a day, the steroid tablets plus baby aspirin in the mornings and and a prenatal.

My moods are quite all over the place at the moment, which you might have noticed. Swinging from positivity to despair in a moment. I'm definitely feeling extra sensitive today. The best way for me to not stress as much I've found seems to be by not letting myself think about all the what ifs and just focus on the moment. Trying to do things that make me happy also helps. I created an upbeat 80s music playlist which I've been singing along to, plus drinking large amounts of (decaf)Barry's tea. Tonight we'll watch an Irish movie (Sing street). Other than that we'll just keep praying and crossing our fingers that it might be third time lucky.

Wishing everyone who reads this a lovely Christmas season and all the best for 2017!

25 comments:

  1. Keeping everything crossed!!!

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  2. Yay for two "schöne" embryos! Keeping everything crossed for you.

    That tea cartoon is sooo cute (and true1).

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    1. Thanks! Yeah I'm a big tea drinker, it's so comforting

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  3. Ha re the Barry's, sometimes nothing else will do. And Call The Midwife... love it.

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    1. yeah definitely Barry's over anything else! And love the old style of Call the Midwife.

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  4. Your self-care strategies sound good. Well done, Dubliner!
    Keeping my fingers crossed, too.

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  5. So you transferred two? How exciting! It's interesting how IVF practices differ around the world. At my US cinic they really seem to push for 5 day transfers. How are you feeling? Hoping for positive results!

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    1. Yea we transferred two to give ourselves the best chances! Practices definitely seem to vary a lot between clinics and countries. We weren't encouraged to wait for day 5 at all. Feeling ok at the moment, just nervous! Thanks

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  6. Oh, congratulations on having those babylings aboard the mother ship! How exciting. Definitely a time of swings between positivity and despair, but if you can land somewhere in the middle you're good! Love that tea image. I hope this is it and you don't have to think about next steps. I can completely commiserate in feeling like you drive this boat -- I always was one to push push push for the next thing and wasn't ready for other steps that didn't include pregnancy forever, and Bryce was so ready to put things behind us in that way, way before I was. Maybe it's a guy thing. Fingers and toes and everything crossable crossed!

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    1. Thanks! Yeah hopefully this will work and I won't have to face trying to figure out whether we are even able to go again! Actually I get the impression it can be a guy thing that many don't feel the same need to have children. The maternal instinct can be very strong! It's definitely an emotional topic for me but I feel like we are more or less on a similar page now.

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  7. Wishing you good luck and lots of pleasant distractions in the next days! I think you're dealing with the whole process really well!
    I can so relate to being comforted by hot tea and watching Call the Midwife during this time. Go embies!

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    1. Thanks :-) Distractions are great and being at home in Ireland over Christmas is helping a lot.

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  8. Hey! Congratulations on the transfer! Don't worry at all about the emotions....it's to be expected on all the hormones. Thinking of you. Have a great Christmas and try to keep distracted as best you can...and eat lots of mince pies :) I'm heading back to the UK tomorrow evening and I can't wait! We've made progress on the donor side and are now waiting post egg retrieval and fertilisation (see post on blog). Sending all the luck in the world.

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    1. obviously that previous post is meant to say from 'Wonky Genes' (not sure how the typo happened)

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    2. Thanks! Being with my family over Christmas is working out really well, lots of distractions and time is going quickly. Though on the one hand I am dying to know out the result, on the other hand I am scared to find out! Hope you have a lovely time back with your family too! Delighted to hear things are moving forward for you, will be crossing my fingers for you!

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  9. I finally caught up on your posts. Eeeekk!!! You've made it past transfer! I hope you're feeling alright with all of the meds you're having to keep up with. I'm crossing my fingers and holding on to hope for you. Keep eating well, taking care of yourself, and getting lots of rest.

    Also, I totally get the stress of over the eggs. We got 7 eggs at my last retrieval, which was a huge deal and put me over the moon. But, only 3 fertilized. It's such a bummer and hard not to blame yourself. But, it's not your fault. It's the shitty hand we've been dealt in life. Our ovaries and reproductive organs just don't want to work the way they should.

    Thinking of you as you get through the next week or so!

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    1. Feeling ok on all the meds so far! I've been waking quite early and not able to get back to sleep, probably side effect from the steroids and have a big appetite but otherwise all fine. Yea it's frustrating to do IVF and do everything right but not have great results or leftover embryos. Thanks for your support! Hoping everything continues to go well for you :)

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  10. Oh, how strange is that! We're in the same boat on the two week wait. I got an IUI on Friday which I believe is Thursday in Germany (the international dateline always confuses me).

    Wow, so we're sisters in "anxious" waiting for the next two weeks.

    Wanna have some tea together while we wait? ;)

    *fingers crossed* Let's hope the baby dust lands on one of us. I'm rooting for you.

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    1. Haha I love the virtual tea idea! Hope you are hanging in there and having a nice Christmas time! It's a nice distraction anyway during the awful two week wait. Crossing my fingers for you too!

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  11. Sticky baby dust love. Enjoy the holiday. Here's to the third time being the charm!

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    1. Thanks Christina! Yes finger's crossed it'll be third time lucky..

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  12. Good Luck! fingers crossed this is it for you! I know it's so hard to go through the ups and downs of emotions and the hormones don't help but try to stay positive and just take it one day at a time!

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    1. Thanks, I've definitely been finding that taking it one day at a time seems to help as otherwise it just all gets too overwhelming! Wishing you all the best on your journey too

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