Wednesday, June 1, 2016

Day after the result

I'm feeling a little better today. Still very sad of course but I continue to have hope for the future that one day it will work for us. I just pray it will be on the third IVF round and soon (or ideally it would just happen naturally but I've more or less given up hope now that could happen). Hubby and I had agreed before we started this whole process that we would only do three rounds max. For most people if it's going to work it would normally work by then. I hadn't thought that I would end up having two failed rounds.

I was talking to a friend today whose friend is a doctor and she said that with only one egg my chances of IVF working were really low, like only 3%. I had no idea it was that unlikely! The doctor did ask me if I wanted to keep going when it looked like I wasn't responding to the meds but he didn't mention that the chances would be so low and I thought that since I only had two eggs the last time but had gotten briefly pregnant that I would still have a chance with one.

I am wondering whether it is time to get a second opinion at another clinic. There is one that is meant to be really good but it's located over an hour away. So trying to go to appointments there before work would involve getting up at an inhumanly early hour. However I do want to give us the best chance of it working. We are thinking about trying to get a consultation appointment there to see what they might suggest.

I have also been thinking about how long I would wait before we might start the third round. I hate the idea of going through all the injections, the egg retrieval, and the horrible emotional rollercoaster again. I would say about 2-3 months maybe, possibly 4. We would also like to plan a trip to Ireland this summer though which could be awkward if it clashes with when we would start treatment so maybe it would make sense to wait until after. 

Hubby and I are planning a mini break together next weekend, a spa hotel or something. Getting away sounds really good at the moment.


10 comments:

  1. 3% is much lower than I would have expected. You'd think they would tell you something like that so you could at least make an informed decision. Maybe the hour drive will be worth it if the other clinic turns out to actually be better?

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    1. I know, I'm annoyed now at doctor not giving me a more realistic idea of our chances. Definitely considering whether it might be worth it to go to the other clinic

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  2. I am very very sorry it didn't work out. I do not believe at all your chances were only 3%. You had one great embryo, I got pregnant with my children from single embryo transfer (by choice) and the embryos were frozen.
    I do think you must go for a second opinion, absolutely, I think your protocol is not right for you and you need a more tailored approach. The fact that the clinic is far away, should not discourage you too much, some clinics have satellite doctors that can do the scans on their behalf and then you get the call from the clinic with updates on how to progress as soon as they have reviewed your scan. Hugs and be gentle to yourself, Fran

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    1. Thanks Fran. Yeah it definitely looks like the last protocol wasn't right for me so I would hope that there is another one I could try that I would respond better to. The fact that it was a great embryo but still didn't work is also making me wonder whether I should get any more tests done. I'll see what my doctor thinks when we go back

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  3. I'm sorry hunny. Hopefully the next round will be the one!

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    1. Thanks. Yes let's hope it's 3rd time lucky! :)

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  4. I agree that 3% seems low, especially if the embryo was great quality. Quality over quantity seemed to be a mantra I heard a lot. I wonder what the point is of sharing that with you after the fact? Breaks didn't work well for me, I drove myself crazy thinking of all the things I could do to "improve" chances, but it sounds like a lovely idea especially if you go to Ireland. I hope that you get answers -- one thing that I wished that we had done differently was get a second opinion sooner, as it was so interesting to get other clinics' thoughts, to hear from different labs. A new protocol sounds good. I wish you so much luck in your next cycle and hope that your break brings peace to your souls and rest for your body.

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    1. Thanks Jess. I'm crossing my fingers for you the whole time that things will work out with the adoption soon by the way! I get so confused about statistics sometimes as I keep hearing different ones depending on what I read or who I talk to so it's really difficult to know what to believe. Yes it would be good if we could get a different opinion to see what a different doctor would say. I think the break will be good for me though I will probably also be driving myself somewhat crazy at the same time thinking of what I should be doing!

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  5. I'm so so so sorry for you. It totally sucks. I found that a break after the last failure worked wonders for me, especially back to my home country. Sometimes you need to just go back to your home country and take things easy (since life is always that bit harder as an expat). I highly recommend getting a second (or even third) opinion. If we hadn't got a second opinion we wouldn't have found out about my balanced translocation. Different drug protocols can make a huge difference. And yes I agree with Jess that the 3% seems waaay to low. If you have one good embryo that can be transferred then your chances are way higher than 3%. Sending hugs XXX

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    1. Thanks so much. The whole thing just sucks doesn't it? Yes when you're an expat it can be extra nicer just going home for awhile and being around family and friends. I am really hoping that a different protocol will help next time. I really hope we both get our miracle babies soon!

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