I've been wondering about whether to talk about this topic or not but in the end I decided that having a blog is a way to share thoughts and make sense of things and it might be helpful to have an outlet while I'm going through all this. So I'm going to create a series of rather personal posts about what's been going on the past few months to fill you in.
Girl meets boy. They date, fall in love, get married and then start a family. Right? Unfortunately I'm learning the hard way, it's not so easy for everyone. One in eight couples these days experience infertility, which is defined as not getting pregnant after one year of trying. That's a lot of couples dealing with something that people don't really talk openly about so you can end up feeling quite lonely when going through it and it can feel hard to find people who relate. You also experience such a rollercoaster of emotions; hope, guilt, depression, anger, sadness - it's a lot of ups and downs.
When we started trying for a baby I was worried at the back of my mind we might have difficulty as my doctor here had warned me as due to my having had surgery when I was younger I probably have scarring around my fallopian tubes. But still I was hopeful. The first six months I wasn't overly worried or thinking about it that much as I'd read it could take some time (up to a year is still normal) but I did start to try other things at that stage such as improving my diet, trying acupuncture, using ovulation sticks, the list goes on. During a HSG test where they put dye through your tubes to see if it can flow freely I found out that one side was blocked but the other side looked fine. And I'd read a lot of women also fall pregnant shortly after that test- maybe the dye helps clear our any old cobwebs, haha!
Unfortunately though, after several more months of nothing happening once we reached the one year mark it was time to make an appointment with the doctor...to be continued..
I can only sympathise with what you're going through. I have a few friends here in Ireland who are in the same situation, I just hope for you that the care in Germany is better covered than in Ireland. When I see how much money my friends spent on IVF, it breaks my heart. Especially as it didn't work out in the end.ReplyDelete
In France women can avail of 5 IVF free of charge and just to cheer you up, I'll tell you a positive success story. A friend of mine always had hormonal issues since she was young and she was told it would be very hard to have kids. 10 years of marriage and there was still no sign of a pregnancy. She went through 4 IVF, got pregnant once and had a miscarriage. She was devastated but decided after a few months to try for the last time. The day she went for a pre-IVF check up, the doctor told her she didn't need one because she was pregnant already! She gave birth to a boy and a couple years after she got pregnant again without IVF.
So all I can say is stay positive, you never know what can happen :-)
The German health insurance here pays for 50% of basic IVF here for three attempts. I am glad that I'm living here where it is still somewhat affordable. That's a nice story about your friend. I've actually heard that happening quite often where someone will do IVF and it won't work but then they end up getting pregnant naturally!Delete
Oh dear. Don't give up hope. I personally know of at least three cases where pregnant after years of trying and of IVF attempts. Relaxation and putting your mind to how you would raise a child, discussing your hopes and attitudes really helps too.ReplyDelete
Thanks! I keep hearing stories like that too. I just hope something works eventually for us!Delete
Ops not sure what happened to my comment. Just wanted to tell you we have 2 children with IVF and there are lots of blogs on infertility and IVF. You are not alone! Check out what I have been writing about when I started my blog :)ReplyDelete
There is lots of hope, I promise
oh yes I follow your blog and already read back on your old posts about IVF! So helpful! I've also come across some of the other infertility blogs and it's nice to read other people's experiences.Delete
I think it's such a positive trend to see more and more people talking about infertility. It is more common than one thinks, and it helps to shrink the shame when we bring the struggle to light. Here's to hope that you'll have your miracle baby next year! :)ReplyDelete
Yes I agree that it's a lot more common than people realise! Have recently come across two other people also struggling at the moment so it was nice that we could share our stories and be supportive of each other. Thanks, finger's crossed :)Delete